Field Guide to Scam Artists- Part II The Petty Scams

Now when I say small time I don’t necessarily mean that these people aren’t going to try to wreak serious havoc on your bank account or take serious advantage of you but they proposals are more plausible so in many respects require a good deal more thought than the major cons. For the big time cons to work the person being conned has to be at least vaguely dishonest so my perspective if they get taken they only have themselves to blame. But with these small time scams it’s possible (though unlikely if you pay attention) for a genuine good Samaritan to get taken in.

There are a lot of variations of the small time scams and often they will mix and match. The person you are chatting with will much more often be female than in the big time scams, well at least for me since I’m male they think I’m more susceptible to the charms of a woman than I would be a man. In fact some of these only work if I’m a man. So with that let’s look at the major classes of small time scam artist.

The Shop Owner

This is the most common African scam and I have to confess I’ve never figured out exactly how it works. I have several theories which I’ll discuss later but I’d have to get a little too involved to find out for certain. One thing I’m sure of though, never ever get involved! The scam goes something like this: They have a little shop where they sell things, clothing, electronics and such and they have bought some things but the company they bought them from doesn’t ship to Africa so could you receive them for them and ship them on to them.

On the surface it seems pretty plausible, they usually appeal to your Christian values and how they are hardworking just trying to make their lives better. But if you think about for a moment, credit cards are not widely available in Africa, so how is it they are paying for this merchandise? This scam can appeal to 2 kinds of people, the honest good Samaritan that would really want to help and to those with a somewhat larcenous streak that think “I’ll just keep the stuff.” Whatever your motives, don’t do it!

As I said I haven’t worked out the details of this scam, it’s either just out and out identity theft where they get enough information from you to use it, and you never see any merchandise and all you ever see are bills for credit cards you didn’t know you had. I think it’s far more likely that the merchandise will show up and they prey on most people’s natural honesty to send it on. They always tell you they have a fed ex account and they will tell me exactly what to do. So my guess is they give you a bogus fedex number, the merchandise is shipped off to them and then a month or so later you get a huge bill from fedex, probably followed up with a call from some credit card company’s fraud division.

I did go so far one time as to give someone a made up name and address, mostly because they asked me like 20 times and wouldn’t give up. So I became Scott Urkidin of 125 El Camino de Loco, San Cabeza, CA. Which they dutifully wrote down and actually asked me to repeat, I’m sure to see if I was telling the truth. They did come back a few days later and ask if the merchandise had arrived, so in this case it was probably more of an attempt of identity theft. When I explained to them they couldn’t have possibly ordered merchandise using that address because there was no such place as San Cabeza, they delivered a stream of expletives, but had the nerve to ask for my address again before storming off.

There are variations of this where people will just ask for addresses, I’ll have a five minute chat with someone and have them tell me they want to send me a card or a gift. My only advice here is: When in doubt don’t!

The Damsel in Distress

These are a personal favorite of mine. I guess it’s a sadistic streak I have. The story is basically this: They are young, beautiful (always accompanied by a picture of a beautiful mixed race woman), grew up in some city in the United States or in the UK have an African mother or father and have gone off to visit them but now some disaster has befallen them and they need help.

The reason I enjoy them so much is they usually have no idea about the place they purport to have come from and I can talk intelligently about most any major city in both the US and the UK. It’s very funny to watch them squirm when you ask very simple questions about their home town and they don’t have a clue. It usually doesn’t stop them from continuing the scam but it certainly makes it funny. They usually have addresses of where they lived but don’t even have vague notions of the city they are from. For an extreme example of this take a look at my Houston, we have a problem blog.

Now this scam can go in either of two directions, either a bald faced appeal for money so they can come home or more recently they have an American check that they can’t cash in Africa and would I cash it for them. They will then use the money to come back to the US. There are usually vague promises of sexual liaisons or relationships if you comply.

Both are easy to deal with, with the check you explain that your bank won’t take third party checks, which often gets you oh well they make the check to you. To this I respond: “If they can make the check to me why can’t they just send you the money by Western Union directly?” This of course is check mate and the conversation usually detiorates into name calling and profanity at this point.

My response to the other will vary depending on my mood. Usually I’ll just respond that I don’t send money to people I’ve never met and at that point I’ll tell them I don’t believe them but sometimes I counter offer. I say.” Tell you what. I’ll do better than money, I have a lot of frequent flyer miles so scan me your passport and I’ll get you a free ticket home.” Now they are in a real predicament because you are offering to give them exactly what they asked for but they don’t have a passport and the ticket is worthless to them. This is usually good for a lot of squirming and cajoling and backpedaling.

The Romance Proposal

Now there are two genres of these, one usually Asian that is mostly legitimate with a few variations Ill talk about later and the other mostly African which is almost always just a scam. They are easy to differentiate, the real ones want you to come meet them, the scams want you to send them money so they can come meet you.

The story always starts the same, they really like American men, but I have no allusions here English, Irish, Norwegian, Canadian men are all equally good. I’m sure Martian men are hot if they’ll send money!

There will be some basic discussion of age, career and marital status, then followed by how much they want to meet someone like me. Then asking me if I could ever love again (I’m a widower) and then asking if I want to marry them. I politely explain that I don’t do long distance romance to which they respond they can come to me. I ask how they plan on getting a visa which of course gets us to money. Send them money and they will take care of it. This of course is just a flat out scam playing on the vulnerabilities of people, they are looking for slightly lonely, slightly desperate guys looking for love on line. Who knows I may be one of those too… But I’m not that stupid!

Now there are a lot of Asian women on line, most of them are sweet and really looking for someone to marry them. No matter how you feel about that them most of them are fundamentally honest. There are a few that have figured out there is money to be made at this and will try and take advantage, but it’s all such small time I can’t even consider it a scam. I’ve had pretty girls message me and tell me it was their birthday and ask for a present. They must have people say yes and now do it all the time to see what they can get. I’ve actually had the same girl message me a couple months apart and tell me it was their birthday both times.

More often the girls are looking for an on going relationship, an internet boyfriend to send them money every month. Often in these countries $100 is an average monthly salary so some American guy sending three or four hundred a month is a bonanza. I have a dear friend in Viet Nam that tells me about all the girls that come to the internet café to meet their American boyfriends and make sure the Western Union delivery is coming while their local boyfriend waits in the wings. Scam? Probably not in the true sense and if sending the girls money makes you happy go for it. These girls at least try to offer something on some level.

There are others like the birthday girls that just throw stuff out to see what happens, I’ve been offered strip shows if I send them money for a private room, I’ve been asked to sponsor girl’s educations, I’ve even had girls flash their boobs and then ask me to send them a computer so they can show me more.

There are lots of other variations but mostly it’s a mix and match. One of my favorites was one that went from can you take delivery?… no… Can you cash a check?… no… I really like you can you send me money so I can visit you?.. No They then said okay… bye. I said “Wait aren’t you forgetting something?”

“What?” they say.

I respond “What about your uncle the general with $50 million he needs to get out of the country?”

“Fuck u” is the response..

Yay!!! I win!