Jerry The Miracle Cancer Survivor

Well I thought it was going to be a slow day today. But it figures I just finish writing my blog about petty scam artists where I list all the major sorts of scams I've run ito and no sooner do I get it published when what happens? I get an instant message from Jerry with a whole new scam. I mean brand spanking new. Hot off the press. And it's a lulu. It seems poor Jerry is being held captive in a London hospital until he comes up with the money to pay off his bill. Sounds like page 1 stuff for the Sun.. well maybe page 2.. it would only be page if he had big boobs!
This one was just too good to wait.. and here it is in all it's glory.

jerry135bell: DEAR,FRIEND,

HOW ARE YOU DOING,I BELEIVE ALL IS WELL WITH YOU. DEAR, I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW A LITTLE THING THAT IS BOTHERING ME AT THE MOMENT.

I HAS BEEN ILL FOR SOME TIMES NOW AND THE HOSPITAL BILL IS REALLY TELLING ON ME BECAUSE I DONT HAVE A ENOUGH MONEY TO PAY SO THAT I CAN BE DISCHARGED FROM THE HOSPITAL.

SO, PLEASE I NEED AN ASSITTTANCE FROM YOU TO SETTLE THE HOSPITAL BILLS. I WILL BE VERY HAPPY AND APPRECIATIVE TO HEAR FROM YOU.

WITH LOVE

JERRY BELL.

me: right and I'm the queen of sheeba

jerry135bell: in where pls

me: california

me: you've got an irish yahoo address

jerry135bell: are you a DR

me: no

me: are you irish?

jerry135bell: NO

me: how did you end up with an irish yahoo id?

jerry135bell: so how are you doing today ?

me: I'm ok

jerry135bell: i just like it

me: ok.. so where are you?

jerry135bell: london

jerry135bell: that is UK

me: yes been there

me: 30 or 40x

me: what part of london?

jerry135bell: hudderfeild

me: I see

jerry135bell: have you been to uk before

me: yes.. many times...

me: that's what's confusing to me

jerry135bell: wow that is nice

jerry135bell: am in hospita now and i need your help pls

me: what about the national health?

jerry135bell: i have been there

me: been where?

jerry135bell: i mean the natioanal health

me: you're realyl in london?

jerry135bell: they are not willing to assit

jerry135bell: yeah

me: national health isn't a place

jerry135bell: is a hospital

jerry135bell: a health centre

me: no it's all the hospitals...

jerry135bell: yeah

jerry135bell: all i neee from youi is an assittances

jerry135bell: need*

me: you wouldn't get admitted to a private care hospital if you didn't have insurance

me: man I don't even live in the UK and can see right through this story

jerry135bell: so that i can pay off my bills

me: no offense.. but you really need to work on this scam

jerry135bell: i have been thwere for the past two years

me: it's really really lame

jerry135bell: dear, am not and can never play with my health

jerry135bell: i can give you the hospitals number

jerry135bell: to confirm

me: yes but your story makes no sense... if you're in england health care is paid for by the national health boeard

me: board..

me: they aren't going to keep you there until you can pay

me: that's ridiculous

jerry135bell: i said i have been to the natioanla health

me: the national health covers everyone... it's universal insurance

me: I'm not an idiot..

jerry135bell: which they said i have to look for another hospiatl taht will handle the illness

jerry135bell: that was y i went to a private hosipatal

jerry135bell: hospital*

me: but the other hopital wounldn't take you if you couldn't pay

jerry135bell: for an urgent treatment

me: but you've been there for 2 years?

jerry135bell: one have to pay part of the money b4 the treatment starts

jerry135bell: so, what i have paid is the first payment that allow them to start the treatment

me: and the hospital has kept you there for 2 years?

jerry135bell: so, i need some money to complete the balance payment so that i can be discharged

jerry135bell: the illness

me: so they won't let you go until you pay?

jerry135bell: has kept me for two years

me: I see...

me: what was your illness?

jerry135bell: i have some little balance to pay

jerry135bell: cancer

me: what sort of cancer?

jerry135bell: cancer of the eyes

me: I see...

jerry135bell: yeah

me: so how is you can see the keyboard and screen?

jerry135bell: i said am alright now

jerry135bell: but i need to pay the hospital

jerry135bell: bills

me: a fucking miracle I'd say

jerry135bell: ok

me: since cancer of the eye is 1 extremely rare

me: 2. 99.9999999999% of the time leaves you blind

me: and 3. 99.99% of the time is quickly fatal

jerry135bell: it was by the grace i was able to see again

jerry135bell: i really thNX GOD FOR IT

jerry135bell: so, all i need now is an assittances

jerry135bell: to settle the hospital bills

me: well if you've got that kind of luck you should have no problems

me: so the hospital won't let you leave?

me: maybe that's why you chose an Irish yahoo ID.. you've got the luck of the Irish

me: still there?

jerry135bell: look i need your help pls

me: I just want to be clear on the facts and I'll help you okay?

me: you've had cancer

me: you were treated in a hospital

me: and now they won't let you leave until you pay the bill right?

me: you there???

jerry135bell: ok

jerry135bell: but i havbe some money

me: I see...

me: what's the name and address of the hospital?

me: you there?

me: I'm ready to help but I need that information

jerry135bell: regency hospital

me: okay in Huddlefied?

jerry135bell: yeah

me: okay... I'll take care of it

me: I'll call Sky

me: and the metropolitan police

jerry135bell: ok

jerry135bell: no problem

me: becasue it's against the law for you to be held there for non payment

jerry135bell: i know

jerry135bell: so, you are going to assit me

me: yes..

jerry135bell: thanx

me: I'm going to e-mail Sky news... it's the kind of story they love

me: as soon as the reporters show up you should have no more problems

jerry135bell: ok

jerry135bell: thanx for that

me: ok

jerry135bell: is that what you do for now

me: yes

jerry135bell: ok

me: and even better... I'm gonna make you famous

jerry135bell: ok

jerry135bell: but cant you help me financially

me: yeah I have a blog where I put dialogs I've had with scam artists..

me: and man yours is great

jerry135bell: ok

me: you'd have to be a complete and total moron to believe your story

me: thanks... is this your e-mail?

jerry135bell: yes

me: ohh okay... well if I win an award for this one... I'll drop you an e-mail

me: this one is priceless...

me: where are you really from?

jerry135bell: uk

me: really... and you think you can pull off a scam like this?

me: it's usually the nigerians that come up with lame crap like this

jerry135bell: am not a nigerian ok

me: yeah but I can't belive you're English

me: though your english skills are better than most

me: so how do you feel about the Old Bailey?

jerry135bell: look i dont like how you are talking to me ok

jerry135bell: pls live me now

me: why because I see you for what you are?

me: how could you be on the net from the hospital at 2 in the morning?

jerry135bell: am a not a scam ok

me: right and I'm Prince Charles

jerry135bell: ok

jerry135bell: as i told you i need help from you pls

me: and I told you you are a lying fraud

jerry135bell: ok

me: and you've done nothing but give me a cockamamie impossible story