A Big Time Scammer's Pitch

I'd been waiting for this. It had been a while since I had been approached by a big time scammer in chat. Not even a nibble since I started my blog. Well today my luck changed and boy did it ever. For the first time I felt truly in danger in doing this blog, not from any harm the African could do to me but from laughing so hard.

It was a typical African scam, millions sitting in a bank account, no one to claim them, I get 40% if I help.

This scam also goes to the lengths they go to try to make their story believable. To prove he was real he used a link to the passenger manifest of the Alaska Air flight that went down off Los Angeles some years ago. He had selected one of the passengers on the doomed flight as his imaginary account holder.

CNN Story

Now of all the passengers on the flight he chose one of the most improbable to be his imaginary account holder.

Their biography as it appeared in the CNN story follows:

Toni Choate, a Santa Cruz man who was living as a woman, was returning to the San Francisco Bay area with his daughter, Jacquelyn Choate, 18, after vacationing in Mexico.

Toni Choate was a general contractor and cabinet finisher originally from Visalia, California. He was formerly known as Larry D. Choate, but changed his name and started living as a woman in the mid-1990s, according to friends and relatives in California's San Joaquin Valley.

Until the early 1990s, Larry Choate worked with his father building houses in the Visalia area.

He then moved to Sacramento, California, living there about five years and building redwood decks for condominiums, said Vicki Elliott, a friend. Sometime during that period, Choate began to identify himself as a woman.

Choate moved to Santa Cruz in 1995 and bought the Savoy Bar in Santa Clara, California. About a year ago, Choate moved to San Francisco.

Jacquelyn Choate grew up in Sacramento. "They were real close," Elliott said of the father and daughter.

Now I hope that if anyone that knew Toni reads this blog that they don't take offense, but of all the passengers on the flight my scammer chose one of the more imporbable people. It never did become clear to me how a transgender contractor from Santa Cruz came to have $6.5 million in a Nigerian bank!

As I played this guy along, it became clear that they have no idea how to deal with someone that isn't greedy. The one thing that isn't clear as you read the text of our conversation is how long the pauses are. I thought he was onto me several times but it became clear he didn't know how to deal with me. I swear they are sitting in a big data processing center somewhere and they are stopping to ask their supervisors for advice! He couldn't believe I didn't want the money. All I wanted was a small payment for my time. The nerve of me.. He kept talking because he thought I was a mark but had no idea on how to deal with people that weren't greedy.

So without further ado.. Here is jon4real

jons_4real: male 34 nigeria
jons_4real: where r u from
me: ok ok
me: california
jons_4real: ur age and occupation?>
me: 50 partner in a software company
jons_4real: great
jons_4real: am banker ,i work wt fidelity bank plc
me: I see
jons_4real: am here to discus wt you maybe you can handle some business transaction for me over there and you benefit from it
me: ok what's that?
jons_4real: like i told you am banker,theres a lot of money lying here unclaimed in our bank where i worked
me: I see
jons_4real: the depositor of this money is from usa
jons_4real: but he was late now ,he died with wife and kid in plane crash going to alaska
me: what does that have to do with me?
jons_4real: so nobody come out as next of kin to his money ever since the deporsitor died with wife and kid
me: I see... so how do you know he died in Alaska?
jons_4real: all effort made by bank to locate the next of kin to this money proved abortive
me: yeah but how did you find out he died? I still don't understand
jons_4real: i can give you the site ,so that yopu can go for gogle search
jons_4real: so that is why i need your help ,so that you can stand as next of kin to this money over there and you claim it for me
me: so you just randomly search google for people that died that are depositors in your bank?
me: I still don't understand how you found out he died
jons_4real: can you give me your email address ,so that i can send you details about the money and the late deporsitor of the money
me: well let's just chat here for now...
me: you can tell me here
jons_4real: so that when you read the letter mail you will; understand me wel
jons_4real: just for you to undestand it well
me: ohh I have a pretty good idea... I just don't understand how you found out he died
me: unless someone contacted you you'd think he was still alive
jons_4real: the late deporsitor of this money was foriengh contractor here in nigeri but he was from usa
me: yeah I got that... so how did you find out he died
me: look I'd like to help if I can but there are so many scams I need to be sure this is real
jons_4real: and he lost his life when he was going to his resident in califonia
me: I see..
jons_4real: am too sure of this transaction because i work wt the bank
me: well if he's a california resident it's easy... contact the state of california... they will help you
me: they have a huge program to locate next of kin
jons_4real: this money was lying here unclaimed for a long time
me: yes.. but if I get you you want me to pretend to be his next of kin right?
jons_4real: and the federal goverment has told the bank tro locate the next of kin to this money proved abortive
jons_4real: so i want you to stand as next of kin to the money over there and you claim it for me
jons_4real: yes
me: well there's a big problem with that
jons_4real: all the document that will basck you as next of kin shall be provide by me here
me: since I'm a California resident and I do that and some real relative or a will shows up... I'll go to jail for fraud
jons_4real: am the one that will processing you to the money here as next of kin to the fund
jons_4real: just for you to stand as beneficiary to the fund and you claim it for me
me: but you see my problem?
jons_4real: i want you to relax your mind in this transaction
jons_4real: b'cos is legal transaction
jons_4real: and not attarced any risk
me: ohh I can't I know california law... at some point their estate will be probated and someone will do a complete asset search and they will find the account you've got
me: sure you're asking me to commit fraud.. it's a huge risk
jons_4real: b'cos nobody come out as next of kin to the money ever since the deporsitor of the money died with wife and kid
me: you're safe...
jons_4real: am assureing you that you cant get into any trouble
me: I know but if he died and is a resident of california they'll eventually settle his estate
me: well how much do you know about california law?
jons_4real: am the one that will processing you to the money here in our bank central computer
me: yes so we do this and six months later someone from the state comes looking for the money?
me: and you tell them oh we gave it to Scott... then the state comes to me and arrests me
jons_4real: i told you thaty this money was lying here since year 2000
jons_4real: so nobody come of it siue the deporsitor died
me: well that's not long for the state.... here the bank will hold the money for 4 years and the state another 7
me: so it would be antoher 5 or 6 years that they could come looking
jons_4real: wait let give you some details here
jons_4real: okay?
jons_4real: I greet you in the name of GOD, the Beneficent, theMerciful.
Greetings from Nigeria,Before I introduce myself, I wish
to inform you that this letter is not a hoax mail and
I urge you to treat it serious. We want to transfer to
overseas account ($6.5 USD)Six.Five Million United States Dollars) from a Bank here in Nigeria Fidelity bank plc lagos nigeria. I want to ask you, If you are not capable to quietly look for a reliable and honest person who will be capable and fit to provide
either an existing bank account or to set up a new
Bank a/c immediately to receive this money, even an
empty a/c can serve to receive this money, as long as
you will remain honest to me till the end for this
important business trusting in you and believing in
God that you will never let me down eith
me: well you've told me he was a california resident so his estate will be govened by california law
me: this sounds one of those African scam letters everyone gets
jons_4real: do you read the letter i give you now?
me: yes
jons_4real: pls go thru the letter now
me: I did I read fast
jons_4real: no am not here for that
jons_4real: this ia real transaction
me: of course not
jons_4real: i work wt the bank here
me: so how much you going to pay me?
jons_4real: so be rest asured in what i told you
jons_4real: am MR. Johnson Williams,During the course of our auditing last week,
I discovered a floating fund in an account opened in
the bank in 2000 and since 2005 nobody has operated on
this account again,after going through some old files
in the records I discovered that the owner of the
account died without a [Heir/WILL] hence the money is
floating and if I do not remit this money out urgently
it will be for feited for nothing.
The owner of this account MR TONI CHAOTE an American
and great industrialist and a resident of Visalia
California, who unfortunately lost his life in
the plane crash of Alaska Airlines Flight 261 which
crahsed,including his wife and kids nobody to claim the money. You shall read more news about the crash on visiting this site
jons_4real: http://www.cnn.com/2000/US/02/01/alaska.airlines.list/
and http://www.alaskaair.com/E_latest.asp.
me: wait you said this happened in alaska?
jons_4real: No other person knows about this account or any thing
concerning it,the account has no other beneficiary and
my investigation proved to me as
well that the account is a secret account.
The total amount involve is Six.Five million United States
Dollars only [$6.5]and we wish to transfer
this money into a safe foreigners account abroad. But
I don't know any foreigner, I am only contacting you
as a foreigner because this money can not be approved
to a local person here,but to a foreigner who has
information about the account, which I shall give to
you upon your positive response.I am revealing this to
you with believe in God that you will never let me
down in this business, you are the first and the only
person that I am contacting for this business, so
please reply urgentl
me: this flight went down off LA
me: you just said he was from Visalia... but the news article says he was from Santa Cruz
jons_4real: i said he lost his life when he was going to his resident
me: you said he was with his wife
me: but his wife isn't listed on the passenger manifest
jons_4real: i said he was usa
me: you said hi son
me: his daughter died
me: damn did you get anythnig right?
jons_4real: but he lives here in nigeria b4 he died with wife and kid
jons_4real: yes
jons_4real: you go for the gogle search
me: but you said he was an industrialist from visalia
jons_4real: and you read more news about the plane crash
me: the news article said he was drom santa cruz
me: I am
me: but it's pretty obvious you haven't
jons_4real: yhe was great industrialist here in nigeria
jons_4real: he lives his live like a woman b4
me: I'm sorry I'm laughing too hard
jons_4real: do you go for gogle search of it?
me: this is the funniest scam anyone has ever tried on me
jons_4real: relax you mind this is sure trannsaction
me: you miseed your calling
jons_4real: am the one that will processiung you to the money here
me: of all the passengers on the list you pick the transgenger one???
jons_4real: I need your strong assurance that you will never let
me down, me and .I guarantee that
this transaction will be executed under a legitimate
arrangement that will protect you from any breach of
the law.The bank official Will destroy all documents
of transaction immediately we receive this money
leaving no trace to any place.I will use my position
and influence to obtain all legal approvals for onward
transfer of this money to your account with
appropriate clearance from the relevant ministries and
foreign exchange departments.
I look forward to your earliest reply. PLEASE, TREAT THIS PROPOSAL
AS TOP SECRET.
THANKS.
me: so how does a transgender cabinet finisher from Santa Cruz become a great industrialist in Nigeria
me: stop pasting and talk to me
jons_4real: wait
jons_4real: listen to me
me: so what industry was he in in Nigeria
me: or is it she.. i'm confused
me: so was he aparently
me: still there?
me: hello?
jons_4real: i told you the deporsitor of this money was a great industrialist b4 he died
me: so what industry?
me: what business was he in in Nigeria?
me: okay time to end the torture...
me: smile you're on candid scammer
me: still there?
me: did you give up?
me: awwww come back... this was so much fun
jons_4real: i told you he was foriengh contractor here in nigeria
BUZZ!!!
jons_4real: sorry i got disconet
jons_4real: am here now
me: so tell me how does a transgender cabinet maker get $6.5 million in Nigeria?
jons_4real: i want you to stand as next of kin to this money over there
jons_4real: and you claim it for me
me: well this is a big risk for me...
jons_4real: and you get ur 40%from the money fore your own share
me: ohh no I don't do percentages...
me: I'll work for a flat fee
jons_4real: but i told you he got some contrat from federal republic of nigeria
me: I see... they give a lot of contracts to chicks with dicks?
jons_4real: and he deporsited the money in our bank here where i worked,fidelity bank plc
me: ohh ok
jons_4real: do you remember the deporsitor name?
me: well I'll help you but we have to work my way
me: Tony Chaote
jons_4real: i want you to relax your mind in this transaction
jons_4real: is legal transaction
jons_4real: and is risk free transaction
me: okay... I don't want a percentage though
jons_4real: and i can asuired you that everything will work out fine
me: just a flat fee for my risk
jons_4real: where r u from and your age?
me: I told you I'm 50 from California
jons_4real: but am the one that will processing you to the money here om our bank
jons_4real: but i will need some information from you to start wt the processing you to the money here
me: okay but here's the deal.. you can keep all the money.. just pay me a fee for my time.. it's a much better deal for you
jons_4real: i need your trust in this transaction ,because thius money will be transafer to your bank account over there
jons_4real: can you handle it for me?
me: no I suggest we move the money to switzerland or the cayman islands
me: sure.. just send me $5000 via western union to get me started and I'll handle the deal for you
jons_4real: why are you saying this to me
jons_4real: this a lot of money am telling you now
me: becasue us banks look too closely
jons_4real: and i asured you thay everything will work out fine
me: yes but I don't work that way...
me: I just do fee for service work
me: why are you arguing with me... I'm offering you a much better deal
jons_4real: i want you to stand as next of kjin to the money over there
jons_4real: and i will provide you all the document that will back you as next of kin to the money here in our bank
me: yes I understand what you want... I'll do the whole deal for you for $20,000 plus expenses
me: then you can have all the rest of the money... that fair?
jons_4real: but i told you that 40%for you
me: send me 25% up front and the balance once everything is settled
me: yeah I don't want it... I told you what I want
jons_4real: do you know how much is the 40%of the money?
me: yes
me: but it's not mine so I don't want it...
me: I'll do it for you but only want what I asked for
jons_4real: how much is iut?
me: about 2.7 mill
me: but if I take the money I put myself in more risk
me: I'll do it for you on a fee for service basis
jons_4real: i told yu the money will be transfer to your bank acount over there ,and after you recive the money there i will fly down to you to split the money
me: this is a fabulous deal for you
me: no the money should never come to the US... I suggest the Cayman Islands
me: so if you send me $5,000 I'll fly down there and set up the accounts
jons_4real: but i will need your information to processing you to the money here in our bank central computer as next of kin to the money
me: well I'd need some good faith payment from you before I could give you that
jons_4real: no
me: too many scam artists out there
jons_4real: the money will be transfer to your bank account from my bank here where thew money is
me: well maybe only $1000 to show there really is money and that this isn't another African scam
jons_4real: i told you am here for real
me: if you've got 6.5 mill in a dormant account I know a banker could move $1000 of it to me to demonstrate good faith
jons_4real: am too sure of this deal
me: yes but all the scam artists say they're real
me: I'd need proof
jons_4real: okay
jons_4real: lrt get it done
me: I'd need it western union
jons_4real: and you will see it urself when contacting as next of kin to the money
jons_4real: you will confirm everything from our bank managing director
me: sure I can be Tony's cousin
jons_4real: about the money and the late deporsitor of the money
me: yes as soon as I get the good faith payment from you
me: u there?
me: hello?
jons_4real: yes
jons_4real: what proved do you want?
me: I want at 25% retainer of my fee.. $5,000
jons_4real: yes
me: soon as I get that we can get started
jons_4real: if you sure you can handle it for me let get it done,you're the one that will recieve the money in your account there so evcerything is in your hand
me: you don't understand I need an up fornt payment to proceed
jons_4real: am the one whom surpose to be woried about ur trust in this transaction
me: once I have that I'll fly to switzerland or to the cayman islands and set up the accounts for you
jons_4real: i dont have any money to send to you ,am diedly broke this time that is why am into this transaction
me: surely you must know how many people have lost money in Africans deals like this that turned out to be scams
jons_4real: so if you are capable to handle it for let start wt the process now
me: but if you have access to this account surely you can move a little no one woild ever notisce 5000 in a domrant account
jons_4real: i told you am not here for scam
me: but how do I know?
me: I need a good faith payment... plus I'm offering you a real deal here
me: I'm not going to take a % you will end up with 2.7 million more
jons_4real: i told you is only forienghner can claim the money out from the bank ,b'cos it was deporsited there by a foriewngh contractor
jons_4real: that is why i need your help to handle it for me
me: yeah but if you are high enough up to do this deal you're high enough up to siphon off $5,000 and send it to me...
me: you're only risk is an audit and by the you'll have the whole 6.5 mill so why do you care??
me: still there?
jons_4real: yes
jons_4real: am here
me: see I don't get it... I'm offering you a huge deal with very little risk to you
me: unless there really isn't any money
jons_4real: but i told you am not thye one that will send you the money to your bank account ,is the bank will transfer the money to ur bank acount
me: but you work at the bank.. you must be able to skim a little of that money...
me: jut do an account to account transfer
jons_4real: and that was after you contact the bank by mail
me: no one will notice..
me: but i'm offering you a much better offer
me: no percentages...
jons_4real: you know the bank those not know am the one give this information out to you
me: yes I understand
jons_4real: so i cant get into the money to send to you
me: so you don't have any authority at the bank?
jons_4real: you will not mettoin my name to the bank director when contacthing as next of kin to the money
me: well if you can't do the deal my way I can't help you
jons_4real: i work wt the bank as banker ,but i cant do anything about the asccount
jons_4real: am just here to processinmg you to the money here as next of kin to the money
me: so you work as a banker you should be able to make some small transfers right?
jons_4real: and after am finish wt the process you to the monbey
jons_4real: i will give you all our bank contact address
me: see if you can't produce a little money up front to make me feel better about this I don't think I can go forward..
jons_4real: so that you can send mail to the bank as next of kin to the moiney
me: just too many scam artists in African
me: I'd feel so much better helping you if I had a lttle money to prove it wasn't a scam
jons_4real: and you tell the bank director that you're the next of kin to the late mr toni chaote
me: I understand all that
jons_4real: ok
me: but I'm just afraid it's not real
jons_4real: bye
jons_4real: forget it then
me: smile you're on candid scammer
jons_4real: since you're not capable to handle it for me
me: I know you're a fraud
me: I've known you were one since the start
me: you're really bad at it dude
jons_4real: but if you cant belive me
me: I've been playing you
jons_4real: forget it
me: I have a web site where I expose scam artists
jons_4real: free wold
me: you were really good... this is the funniest one yet
me: I have to complement you on your choice of dead industrialists
me: the humor in that is just so good
jons_4real: am too sure of this transactrion
me: well then send me 5k and we'll do it...
me: hell of a deal.. I'll even cap out my expenses at 10k.. so 30k max
me: I'll even fly to nigeria and do it im person for that
me: 30k or 2.7 million.. what's a better deal for you?
me: and only 5K up front!
jons_4real: ok bye
jons_4real: good luck
me: bye...
me: so tell me now that you know that I know that you're a fraud.. how often do you get someone that sends you money?
me: oh are you still a wannabe fraudster???