Out of Retirement

I've been retired for a while, not because there have been fewer scam but the scams have been all too boring and predictable..This morning that all changed with an email so incredibly ludicrous I just had to respond. So keep checking back and we'll see how far this goes

The original email:

Hello

I pray that this email reaches you in the best of health. This letter may come to you as a surprise due to the fact that we have not yet met. The message could be strange but it's real and you will realise this if you pay some attention to it. I want to notify you about it at least for the sake of your integrity.

My name is Major Greg Boner Moyo, a direct and only remaining member of the wealthy Moyo family. I am an astronaut with the South African Air Force and on loan to the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA).

In 2003 I left earth aboard the Mars Rover, Spirit. Seven months later I arrived on Mars.

Prior to departing earth, I deposited the amount of US$ 11,600,000 (Eleven million, six hundred thousand United States dollars) in four safety galvanized boxes in a European financial institution which will be disclosed to you upon your acceptance of my proposal.

Last year, during the course of my research on Mars, I was ambushed by a group of analdwelling rebel Martians who inflicted great torturous pain upon my body with anal probes.

After a few weeks of enduring the physical pain, they released me. As a direct result of this cruelty, I am now very ill with a ruptured uterus that has defiled all forms of medical treatment and which has been deemed to be inoperable by my Martian surgeons. I am writing this mail to you on a laptop from my hospital bed in the Martian capitol of Zhwrong.

I now have but a few weeks to live and I am far too ill to endure the long and arduous journey back to my Accra-Ghana home. Therefore I have decided to donate the bulk of my fortune to a church or charitable organisation that will utilize this money in the manner which I shall impart to you later. In return for your assistance, I shall authorise you to keep 30% of this fund for your trouble and aggravation plus an additional 10% to cover your expenses.

You should contact my attorney in Johannesburg immediately with your address and telephone number and he will give you his full contact information and guidance so that we can make arrangements as soon as possible.

Contact Barrister Mahmud Kassim
Barristers & Solicitors,
Telephone ++233-206-616-579
Accra-Ghana. West Africa.
Email: mahmudchambers@yahoo.com

Sincerely yours,
Major Greg Boner Moyo
National Aeronautics and Space Administration
Elysium Veterinary Infirmary
Zhwrong, Mars

My Reply:

Dear Barrister Kassim..

Imagine my surprise when I received Major Moyo's email this morning.. I
have to say his story is unbelievable...I'm particularly amazed about the
problems with his uterus... Such a tragic thing to happen so far from home..

As you may know San Francisco has long been a center for anal probe research
and I have friends that are directors in one of the world's leading
research centers. They have a difficult time getting adequate funding and given
what has happened to poor Major Moyo this might be a perfect outlet for your
client's money.

If this is something you think he'd interested in please get back to me at
your earliest convenience.

Kind Regards,

Scott Urkiddin

They quickly responded with the standard boiler plate requests for personal info:

Dear Scott Urkiddin,

I am in receipt of your mail and the content is well noted. I was thrilled to learn from the Major the ordeal he experienced in Mars and I pray for God to give him the strength to pass through the trying times he is facing over there.

My client has revealed to me the fact that I should make sure that I assist you in collecting the Eleven Million, Six Hundred Thousand United States Dollars ($11,600,000:00USD) that he left behind on planet earth contained in four galvanized boxes which he deposited with Achieve Security and Diplomatic Delivery Company in London, United Kingdom.

I have disclosed to my client the fact that you intend to use these funds in funding adequately the centre for anal probe research in San Francisco so that other humans that will suffer from this problem in future will not have any difficulty in getting adequate health attention and care so that the problem can be contained in future.

He is of the opinion that he is interested in this subject matter you have discussed on and also that I should go ahead and disclosed all the fact regarding the present where-about of the funds in London and what must be done in order to have the funds released and transferred to you in the United States for timely investments. As a result of his decision, I need to congratulate. Congratulations.

To proceed further, I will need you to send me a scanned copy of the front page of your international passport or driver`s license for identification purposes, residential address and office address, telephone number, fax number and mobile number.

Upon receipt of these requirements, I shall proceed to the High Court of Justice to get a Change of Ownership Certificate that will automatically transfer the ownership of the funds deposited with the financial institution in London into your name so that the funds can be released to you as the final beneficiary to Major Moyo.

I shall proceed to London thereafter to meet with the officials of the financial institution to facilitate the release and transfer of the funds to you.

Please bear it in mind that we have just two (2) weeks to get the funds released and transferred to you before the death of Major Moyo hence we need to proceed speedily.

I will furnish you with all related documents as soon as I read back from you.

Yours-at-Law,

Mahmud Kassim(Esq.)

Mobile: +233-206-616-579.
efax: (309) 273-7155

And my response...

Thanks for your prompt response... I don't want the money transferred into my name.. we will do the transfer directly to the anal probe research center. (SFABRC) They are a federally registered 510(c)1 charity. I have no interest in personal gain.. I have had a long interest in uterine insertions and it's the least I can do.

This is a holiday weekend in the US (our independence day) and it's also marked by many anal probe galas so I won't be able to get in touch with anyone at the charity until Monday.

You got a very quick response from Mars... what's the time difference?

Warm Regards,

Scott Urkiddin

He Responds very quickly

Thank you very much for your mail. I am happy with your decision to have the funds transferred directly to charity but there is need for me to reveal the facts of this transaction to you. The financial company will require Major Boyo to come in person and sign for the release of the consignments and this will be impossible.

Since you are the final beneficiary to the funds, there is need for the ownership of the funds to be transferred into your name because only you can hand over these funds to who will do the transfer directly to the anal probe research center. (SFABRC). It is with the Change of Ownership Documents and the Power of Attorney both from the High Court of Justice that the financial company will agree to release the consignments to you.

Do send me requirements so that I can start all legal documentations process nextweek.

I understand that you are on holidays. Happy 4th of July to you and your family and I hope that you are having a great time celebrating.

My regards to your family.

Yours-at-Law,
Mahmud Kassim(Esq.)

And my reply...

I thought that this was so important that I took the time to contact Dr Phillinda Blank of the SFABRC to tell her about it... She couldn't contain her excitement. They have a lot of experience with large insertions and have told me I have their unequivocal support. She has a call into their advisers but asked me if they could get Major Moyo's permission to name their new research center after him.. They are thinking of calling it the G Boner Moyo Center for Anal Retention if he is okay with that.. I suggested for all your efforts that you should have something named after you... Fillinda suggested that the Flatulence Research Lab be named in your honor.

Dr Blank said that they will help me with all the proper documentation and they don't want to leave anything to chance.

Regards,

Scott Urkiddin

Thank you very much for your mail. The Major will be pleased to learn that the research centre will be nased after him and you really do not need to name any of the department of the facility after me. It is not important.



Regarding the change of ownership and power of attorney document that is required, you are advised to send the sum of 1500 Great British Pounds Sterling to the United Kingdom through western union money transfer to my chambers for me to be able to get these documents procured from the High Court of Justice overthere in the United Kingdom.



Send the 1500GBP to:



Receiver's Name: Mahmud Kassim

ADDRESS:Victoria House,144-146,

Beddington Lane Croydon,

CRO 4TD,England,United Kingdom.



Send me the details to receive this amount in England as I will be in the United Kingdom by tomorrow morning.



I await your response.



Yours-at-Law,

Mahmud Kassim(Esq.)


Thanks for your email.. I can't tell you how happy I was to see that you are in the UK. This will make things vastly easier.. Doing some further research the transfer is HAS to be made directly to the nonprofit organization. As a result of the Patriot act passed after the 9/11 tragedy individuals have to wait a minimum of 180 days to receive overseas transfers of monies in excess of US $10,000 unless they are a 501(c)1 or 501(c)3 or are an S type corporation. Needless to say we don't want to wait that long to start helping all those anal retentive souls.

I've spoken with Robin Cheatum a lawyer here and she recommends the following: In case of the unfortunate demise on Major Moyo prior to the change of ownership he should immediately prepare an oral copulatory will stating the APRCSF as the beneficiary in the event of his death.

Since Major Moyo is infagrante delicto that a writ of coitus intteruptus should be presented to the high courts in London. As luck would have it Robin's father is Sir Rob N. Cheatum of the famous London firm of Dewey, Cheatum and Howe. They have agreed to do the work pro bono but of course we expect you to be paid for your efforts. Someone from Sir Rob's office will be in touch shortly..

On a side note the famous Irish Sculptors Annie and Connie Lingus have volunteered to do a 3X life size statue of Major Moyo for the new anal research center lobby. Needless to say everyone is very excited about it... It's already been given the nickname of "The Big Boner". Connie.. (the sister I prefer) was in touch this morning and has said she's been having trouble finding a likeness of Major Moyo on the web.. In fact she said she can't find anything about any African astronauts at all.. I'm sure it's just her search technique but if you could point us to some information about him on either the South African site or the NASA site it would be much appreciated.

Warm Regards,

Scott Urkiddin

I knew Katrina was bad... but didn't realize it moved cities!

I've been on a bit of a hiatus, not because of a lack of scam artists but because of a lack of interesting ones. It’s the same lame scams over and over. There seems to be a proliferation of them. Someone’s uncle’s brother’s cousin has a friend that knows someone that know someone that once found an American so stupid that they actually got money this way.

Most of the time it’s all too predictable and since my over-riding goal is humor and variety I haven’t posted anything in a while. But occasionally you find someone so profoundly stupid that it warrants a post.. Jim was just that sort of scammer.. He completely missed my sarcasm and just kept his pitch going.. though he was smart enough to give up when he realized how badly he screwed up!


jimcolyer01: hello
jimcolyer01: how are utoday?
me: hi
me: I'm ok you?
jimcolyer01: not bad
jimcolyer01: nice having a vhart with you
jimcolyer01: asl
me: you can see my asl on my profile thanks
jimcolyer01: ok
jimcolyer01: my name is jim from UK
jimcolyer01: are u there?
me: scott from california
jimcolyer01: ok
jimcolyer01: what are udoing for a living?
me: partner in a software company
jimcolyer01: i base in
jimcolyer01: ORLEANS in florida before but due to the
hurricane disaster that brought me back to uk
jimcolyer01: which really affected my biz.
me: I see
me: a little light on geography aren't we?
jimcolyer01: ok
jimcolyer01: so how is the situation now?
me: what situation
jimcolyer01: i mean the food disaster that affected
florida some months ago
me: well they put new orleans back in
louisiana where it belongs
jimcolyer01: ok
jimcolyer01: hope u can recollect now?
me: huh?
jimcolyer01: ok
jimcolyer01: CAN I EXPLAING MY SITUATION MAY YOU CAN
ASSIST?
me: oh I think you've already expalined it
me: you're not in the UK...
me: you've never been to the US
me: you're either from Nigeria or Ghana
me: and hoping to find someone lame enough to
give you money
me: how did I do?
jimcolyer01: u are embarrasing me ok?
me: so what part did I get wrong?
jimcolyer01: why did u say i am from those countries ?
me: well it's pretty clear you never spent any
time in New Orleans because you didn't even know where
it was
me: you don't write like you're english
jimcolyer01: did i ask money from you?
me: so what is it you want then?
jimcolyer01: you are a stupid man
me: I'm stupid?
me: you fucking tell me you were affected by
the orleans flooding in florida and fucking call me
stupid????
jimcolyer01: yes you really disgrace
jimcolyer01: what do u mean
me: new orleans isn't in florida dipschit

In the Beginning.....

Today was an honor. Imagine, to be there at the birth of a brand new scam. Not a very good one, mind you, and it still needs a lot of work but a new scam all the same. But at the same time it’s part of a new trend, if you don’t bite right away they won’t chat with you. This one had a lot of potential for entertainment value but they just didn’t want to play.

The gist of their scam is that they get payments in the US and need someone to deposit it them for them, because their customers all pay with postal money orders. You cash them and send them cash via western union. Of course the money orders are forgeries and the money will be gone forever but what harm is there in that? Gee I know a lot of companies that send the payables manager down to the post office to stand in line for 30 minutes with cash to get money orders so they can pay bills.

I think this will be a flash in the pan type scam. Kind of like you won the lottery scams. Too silly to be taken seriously. I have to believe that in the world of scams sex and greed are the way to go.






anita11434: Hello,Am Anita,am from England and am looking for a representative in the states who will be working for us as a partime worker and we are willing to pay 300 dollas for every transaction,which wouldnt affect ur present state of work,if u are interested pls am online u can chat with me.
BUZZ!!!
me: what's that?
anita11434: are u intrested?
me: ok I'll listen
anita11434:
first off all i will like to know ur asl and what u do for a living
Am 29/ female / England, london,I work for Global mineral sourcing agency limited in england
me: where in england?
anita11434: central london
me: I see like where?
anita11434: liverpool
me: ohh ok
anita11434: Our main factory is located in africa were we extract the raw materials need for the manufacturing of fabrics,but all transfers and anything that has to do with payments are refered to England
me: so when did liverpool move?
me: I must have missed that on the news
anita11434: what?
anita11434:
we are looking for a representative in the states, someone who would help us recieve payments from our customers in the states.
me: why?
anita11434: cause the cost of coming to the state and getting payments is very expensive, we can spend up 1,300 dollas only in buying tickets,so we need a representative in the united state who willbe handling that aspect,
anita11434: We are willing to pay 10% per evrypayment u recieve ,and you can still keep ur regular job while you work for us
me: why don't you just have them send checks to england and deposit them in the bank?
anita11434: cos it can't be cashed over there
me: why not?
anita11434: they are paying us with usps money order
me: why would they do that?
anita11434: All you have to do is help us recieve payments from our customers in the states.These payments are in usps money order and they would come to you in your name, so all you need do is cash the cheque collect your payment and wire the rest to us via western union
me: who are your customers?????
anita11434: they are down there in the state
anita11434:
The problem we have is trust,But we have our way of getting anyone that gets away with our money,i mean the IRS.........
me: yes but what do they do?
anita11434: they buy goods from us
me: what sort of goods?
anita11434: we extract the raw materials need for the manufacturing of fabrics
me: so they are companies?
anita11434: not all of them
anita11434:
If you are interested i would send you an employment letter which you are to sign and send back to me as soon as possible and i would need you to give me your full name ,home address e-mail address and your phone number for me to get in contact withyou.
me: why don't you require people to pay you by check or wire transfer
me: or even paypal?
anita11434: cos that is the mode of payment they said they would be paying us with
me: that's stupid
anita11434: and you know costomers always right
me: well no customer is going to choose to use postal money orders
me: they are a pain in the ass... you have to take cash to the post office stand in line for 20 minutes to get the thing
me: but hey this is new.... I haven't had a new scam in a long time
anita11434: thai not a scam
anita11434: ok
me: sure it is
me: I just did a search on yahoo uk
me: for Global mineral sourcing agency limited
me: and guess what it doesn't fucking exist
anita11434: what?
me: you also need to figure out where you are....
anita11434: is still under sonstruction
me: oic
me: so what tube stop are you on?
anita11434: i don't understand u
anita11434: ok
me: well if your from London you'd understand me
anita11434: liverpool tube
anita11434: ok
me: what line?
me: your scam really needs a lot more work...
me: it's an interesting twist
anita11434: what do u mean by that
anita11434: it just a proposal
anita11434: ok
me: but don't tell people you're from England when you don't know anything about it
me: except maybe the names of the football teams in the permiership
anita11434: am not into sport
anita11434: ok
anita11434:
If you are interested i would send you an employment letter which you are to sign and send back to me as soon as possible and i would need you to give me your full name ,home address e-mail address and your phone number for me to get in contact withyou.

me: see.. you need someone else...
me: someone that doesn't do business in the UK
me: and is a lot more stupid
me: becasue I'm sure you're another lame ass scarm artist who couldn't find your way around london if your life depended on it
me: but hey you get some marks... it's a new scam I haven';t seen this one before

So When does a mistake become a lie?

The more I do this, the more I'm amazed by the rationalization. Today's edition said they were from Dublin. Now I spend a lot of time in Dublin, I know it almost as well as home. So when I started asking my new "Irish" friend about Dublin it was pretty clear they weren't even sure what part of the world Ireland was in. When I asked them what the name of the river was in Dublin there was a long pause followed by the answer of the Ohio River. I haven't been to Dublin in a few months but I don't think they renamed the Liffey in my absence!

They are starting to use a new tactic, admission of guilt when they get caught. But of course it's not a lie.. just a mistake.

This one never did get to the scam part of the program but we all know where it was going.

jess4love2004: hi
me: hi
jess4love2004: where r u from ???
me: california you?
BUZZ!!!
jess4love2004: what ya name huh ..???
me: Scott
jess4love2004: san diego
jess4love2004: alright ..
jess4love2004: your age
me: I'm 50
jess4love2004: u have webcam ?? online
me: yes
jess4love2004: ok can i see you
jess4love2004: U MARRIED
jess4love2004: how many kids ?
me: widower no kids
jess4love2004: wow
jess4love2004: is that u ???
me: who else would it be
jess4love2004: u look great ????
me: thanks
jess4love2004: U At WHERE NOW
jess4love2004: OFFICE OR HOME ??
me: home office
jess4love2004: U at home or office
jess4love2004: scott ...are u stay alone ???
me: office in my home
jess4love2004: ok that great
jess4love2004: u stay alone ??
me: yes
jess4love2004: oh is that ur room
jess4love2004: i'm at my mother country now ,..
jess4love2004: rep of ireland ///
me: where in Irelad?
jess4love2004: an i love to married americanme: Ireland?
jess4love2004: dublin city ...
me: ohh ok where in Dublin?
jess4love2004: can u still play with women ???
me: of course
jess4love2004: awesome park
jess4love2004: ok ,.
me: ?
jess4love2004: so scott can i come an see you over there
jess4love2004: becuz mt wish is to come to the state i short time
me: I can see you in Dublin
jess4love2004: ok u can come right there in dulin city
me: I'm there 6 or 7 times a year
me: where in Dublin are you?
jess4love2004: \i want to come ...right there in usa
jess4love2004: ok
me: well not much stopping you
jess4love2004: scott u irish
me: no
jess4love2004: ok,..i can become your wife
me: don't even know you
jess4love2004: i see u nice and u know my place
me: yes
jess4love2004: check at my profile for my picture
jess4love2004: okay
jess4love2004: jessica is my name
me: I did... you don't look very Irish
jess4love2004: my friend call me [ beauty jess.].
jess4love2004: well ,..yes
me: I see
me: so where in Dublin are you?
jess4love2004: i take the picture when i went to beach to play
jess4love2004: dublin 2
me: what street?
jess4love2004: u mean my street
jess4love2004: oka
me: you near the GPO?
me: or Ballsbridge?
jess4love2004: oh it just
jess4love2004: over the second place
jess4love2004: to my place
jess4love2004: like 30 minute moves
jess4love2004 has stopped viewing your webcam.

jess4love2004: oh u know my place
jess4love2004: alot u great man
jess4love2004: infact i like u
me: well I don't think you're from dub
jess4love2004: may be if i'm still here before u come
jess4love2004: u can come an see my mother ,.
me: ok
jess4love2004: i'm why u sald that
me: you don't seem to know much about it
jess4love2004: much about what
jess4love2004: my place
me: dublin
jess4love2004: why ?
jess4love2004: u want to know
jess4love2004: or what
jess4love2004: u asked me an i have answer u
me: well except it was a test
me: neither the gpo or ballsbridge are in dublin 2
jess4love2004: K
me: what's the name of the river in dublin?
jess4love2004: NEITHER GPO OR BALLSBRIDGE
me: what's the name of the river in dublin?
me: still here?
jess4love2004: SORRY BOT BOOTED
me: I see
jess4love2004: I THINK
jess4love2004: IT CALLED Rivers Ohio Worthington
jess4love2004: OR WHAT DO U THINK
me: I think you'd have trouble finding Dublin on a map if your life depended on it
jess4love2004: OR Olentangy River
me: damn you're not even good at google
jess4love2004: U KNOW ONLY MY MOM STAY RIGHT THERE ,..AFTER MY DADDY DIE ..I SAY WITH MY DADDY IN INDIANA .....
me: you searched rivers dublin
me: and not rivers dublin ireland
jess4love2004: WHAT U MEAN HUH
me: well you don't have a clue as to what the name of the river in dublin ireland is
jess4love2004: MY MOM STAY IN DUBLIN JUST WENT TO SEE HER ,..AFTER MY DADDY ..
jess4love2004: DIE ..
jess4love2004: SO I DON';T KNOW ALL ABOUT DUBLIN CITY
me: yeah but if you'd been in Dublin for more than an hour you'd know the name of the river
jess4love2004: OK ..DON'T EVER ASKED
jess4love2004: MAY BE I WILL ASKED
jess4love2004: LATER
me: so what have you done in Dublin?
jess4love2004: STAY WITH MOM
me: what did you see in town?
jess4love2004: YES
jess4love2004: WELL ,...NOTHINGS MUCH
jess4love2004: GREAT
me: I see when did you get there?
jess4love2004: in 1 week
jess4love2004: just come an see mom
me: I see where did you come from?
jess4love2004: becuz she is not alright
jess4love2004: usa
jess4love2004: indiana
me: ohh okay... which way did you go?
jess4love2004: an i'm citizen of Nigeria
me: ahh now the truth comes out
jess4love2004: yes becuz i will still let you know
jess4love2004: i'm true person
jess4love2004: an i believe in God
jess4love2004: so u knows now
me: well except for lying about Dublin and Indiana
jess4love2004: none
jess4love2004: i can't lie
jess4love2004: about what i don't know
me: ok tell me how you flew from Indiana to Ireland
me: what airlines... what airports
jess4love2004: indianapoli Airline
me: that's a city not an airline
jess4love2004: so,..are wicked ???
me: no I just like people to tell me the truth
jess4love2004: becuz u asked much question
me: and when they lie to me I like to see how far they will go before they tell me the truth
jess4love2004: well
jess4love2004: well
jess4love2004: this the truth
jess4love2004: never in my life lie
me: well there is no such thing as Indianopi airline
jess4love2004: i'm from nigeria citizen
me: that I do believe
jess4love2004: my mom from rep of ireland ...
me: I see
jess4love2004: an i even seing her since my daddy die
jess4love2004: she go back to her place
me: but you don't even know how you got there
jess4love2004: an i'm looking for an opportunity to come to usa .....
jess4love2004: yes ...
me: well if you were in indiana you must have a green card
jess4love2004: i was not born there
jess4love2004: so don't have one
me: green cards are for resident aliens
jess4love2004: ok
me: if your mom is Irish you can get an Irish passport
jess4love2004: i know ...
jess4love2004: but she is not
jess4love2004: i think so
me: you just said your mom is Irish
jess4love2004: mistake typing
jess4love2004: none ,..she is not
me: that's big mistake
me: the irish don't give out many visas to Africans
jess4love2004: ok
jess4love2004: yes ..like uk
me: much worse than the UK
jess4love2004: ok
jess4love2004: yes i got about 2 brother in uk
me: I see
jess4love2004: so ...mr scott nice to meet you
me: ok
jess4love2004: but u are very interligent man ,..also serious and nice ,.may be i can be your daughter
jess4love2004: or your small friend ,..from Nigeria
jess4love2004: what ur religion ????
me: I don't have one
me: so does ths mean you've come clean
jess4love2004: i'm christian ????
me: you're not in Ireland?
jess4love2004: yes i'm not
me: but you never lie
jess4love2004: it is mistake
me: big mistake
jess4love2004: also just to make friend and talk ,play online
me: so what's the difference between a mistake and a lie?
jess4love2004: yes i know
jess4love2004: i'm sorry
jess4love2004: i'm so so sorry ...
jess4love2004: sir mr scott
me: ok so my guess is you were going to hit me up for money
me: that's the usual deal
jess4love2004: none
jess4love2004: nonoe
jess4love2004: it is not true
me: Right and I'm really George Bush
jess4love2004: no
jess4love2004: no
jess4love2004: i know him ???
jess4love2004: but i see your face ...in webcam
jess4love2004: u are not
jess4love2004: Mr scott
me: ohh ok
jess4love2004: please don;t lie
me: might not have really been me
jess4love2004: so if u are bush ...please help to america
jess4love2004: by tell them to release me visa to come to america
me: sorry can't help you there
jess4love2004: Mr scott ,..
jess4love2004: u are my father
me: no I'd have remembered having sex with your mom
jess4love2004: k
me: plus I know you're not the woman in the picture
jess4love2004: why
jess4love2004: don';t say that
jess4love2004: we have been taking many things
me: because I bet 20 different "women" have sent me pictures of the same girl
jess4love2004: ye ye
jess4love2004: how ??
me: you tell me..
jess4love2004: i don't know
jess4love2004: how that will be
me: I keep seeing pics of the same girl over and over
jess4love2004: i can't understand that
jess4love2004: u means ??
jess4love2004: someone send u picture of the same girl 2 times
jess4love2004: i don';t know ...what u mean
me: oh I've seen at least 10 different women with the same pic
jess4love2004: i think that is over what we are talking
jess4love2004: how that will happened
jess4love2004: i don't really really understand ...they are using the same picture
me: well I think people use pictures of pretty mixed race women in hopes that they will convince someone to send them money just on a picture
me: I know you were going to ask me for money to come to the US so you could meet me... it's the way the story always goes
me: it's just you were so bad at it and got so tongue tied I caught you before you got a chance

No Remorse

This started as a pretty typical scam. The usual damsel in distress, needing money to come home. This one took an interesting turn though, when I called them on the fact that they'd been lying they changed gears and admitted it, then proceded to tell me they were a school boy and his friend had convinced him to try this and this was the first time he had ever done it. The profile they were using had been active since last November and the pictures they sent had been forwarded from several other very similar names to the one they were using now. My guess is that even the new "come clean" story wasn't true and that they were only trying to salvage their time inventment.

The most telling part of the story though is they didn't see that asking for money under false pretenses was fraud.


tracynicole111: hi
me: hi
tracynicole111: ur name
tracynicole111: asl?
me: scott
me: I'm old
me: m
me: california
me: you?
tracynicole111: that coool
tracynicole111: I am tracy by name
tracynicole111: what do you do for a lviving?
me: partner in a software company
me: where are you from?
tracynicole111: I am from usa
tracynicole111: la
tracynicole111: i am a businesslady
tracynicole111: what ur age
me: I'm 50..
me: LA as in los angeles or LA louisiana?
tracynicole111: that coool of you
tracynicole111: los angeles
me: ohh ok where in LA? I'm there all the time
tracynicole111: Ohh really?
me: really
me: I'll be there a good part of June
tracynicole111: That will cool of you
tracynicole111: so what do you come and do here?
me: I've got clients there
tracynicole111: Ohh that cool of you
tracynicole111: ]are you single/
me: yes I'm a widower
me: so what part of LA?
tracynicole111: I am also single
me: ok
tracynicole111: I finish my studies last 4 month
tracynicole111: so i fall into business
me: I see.... where?
tracynicole111: I travil all over
tracynicole111: So i am in west africa right now
me: I see
tracynicole111: Yes
me: where did you grow up in LA
tracynicole111: in the town
me: well LA is huge.... what part?
tracynicole111: okkk
tracynicole111: I mean my city name?
me: yes most people from LA are a little more specific..
tracynicole111: Why do you say that?
BUZZ!!!
me: my wife was from LA... I must know 200 people and they all would say specifically where they were from
tracynicole111: la crescenta
tracynicole111: ok
me: ohh ok
tracynicole111: so can you tell me much about urself"
me: I'm a partner in a software company
me: la crescenta.... that's over near orange county isn't it? off the 405?
tracynicole111: Yes it's
tracynicole111: so what are you upto to night?
me: not much still the afternoon here
tracynicole111: That cool
tracynicole111: u got cam/
tracynicole111: ?"?
me: yes
tracynicole111: can i view u ?
me: still there?
tracynicole111: yes
tracynicole111: Why don't you get married since this days?
me: haven't met anyone I wanted to marry
tracynicole111: Ohh
tracynicole111: really?
me: really
tracynicole111: what ur email address?
tracynicole111: so i can send u my pics
me: me@yahoo.com
tracynicole111: ok
tracynicole111: Well i am sending you a pics
me: ok
tracynicole111: while i was singing on my sister's birthday
tracynicole111: that is last 2 weeks
me: ic
tracynicole111: Yes
tracynicole111: so what have been doing to day/?
me: working
tracynicole111: that coool
tracynicole111: But u are at home?
me: I work from home if I'm not travelling
tracynicole111: that cool of you
tracynicole111: so do you got my pics/
tracynicole111: ?
me: you look good
tracynicole111: really?
tracynicole111: thanks
tracynicole111: tell me
tracynicole111: what u like in my pics?
me: sure you look great
tracynicole111: thanks
tracynicole111: so can i give me a visite
tracynicole111: as soon as am back to usa?
me: sure or I could meet you in LA
tracynicole111: Yes
tracynicole111: that will be better
tracynicole111: ok
tracynicole111: how can we meet?
tracynicole111: what are you doing there
tracynicole111: just busy with the screen
me: just let me know where and when and when I'm down there I can meet you
tracynicole111: Ohh
me: drop me an e-mail when you get back to LA
tracynicole111: maybe as soon as i am back to usa
tracynicole111: Then i willl call you
me: drop me an e-mail
tracynicole111: ok
tracynicole111: tht will be fine
tracynicole111: can u give me a call rright now
tracynicole111: ?
me: I don't make international calls to Africa
tracynicole111: why
tracynicole111: ?
me: it's expensive
me: I don't know you at all
tracynicole111: ohh
tracynicole111: it dosn't matter
me: ok
BUZZ!!!
tracynicole111: scott
tracynicole111: I want you to do me a favour
me: what's that?
tracynicole111: I am gottn a problem
me: ic
tracynicole111: here
tracynicole111: I am getting a little problem with the hotel maniger
me: I see
tracynicole111: Ye
tracynicole111: the hotel maniger have taken my passort
tracynicole111: so
tracynicole111: he have hold that 1 at hand
tracynicole111: Cos i am little
me: just go to the embassy and report it missung
tracynicole111: feed up of here
tracynicole111: No
tracynicole111: I can't do that
me: why not?
tracynicole111: Cos i am fault
tracynicole111: I am owning the hotel abouut 280$
me: ic
tracynicole111: And i told the hotel maniger
tracynicole111: I don't have any money with me
tracynicole111: that as soon as i get back to usa
tracynicole111: then i will send the money back to him
tracynicole111: the hotel maniger told me
tracynicole111: No
me: I see
me: bummer
tracynicole111: yES
tracynicole111: i am just feed up of here
tracynicole111: I am eager to go back to la
me: IC
tracynicole111: Yes
me: well it's foolish to travel without enough money
tracynicole111: I wish i can clear the bill
tracynicole111: then i will be in the la back by weekend
tracynicole111: Yes
tracynicole111: His just tht
tracynicole111: i have use all the money with me
tracynicole111: To buy tickect
tracynicole111: so i don't have much money again with me
me: what ticket?
tracynicole111: To go back to la
me: where are you in Africa?
tracynicole111: In lagos
me: so how did you get a nigerian visa if you only had a one way ticket?
me: and why would you buy a one way ticket in the 1st place?
tracynicole111: As soon as i arrive to nigeria
tracynicole111: I just but a tickect
tracynicole111: and book for 3 days
tracynicole111: in the hotel
me: that didn't answer my question
tracynicole111: So now my money is over in the hotel
tracynicole111: So i couldn't see any money to pay the hotel anymore
me: see I travel for a living and you would have been denied boarding in the US if you didn't have an onward ticket out of Nigeria
tracynicole111: I have alrready bought a ticket to move out of nigera
tracynicole111: Hope it clear to you
tracynicole111: ?
me: you would have had to have it before you left the US
tracynicole111: it becos
tracynicole111: I don't no much about that
me: yeah I can tell
me: you don't know much about LA either
tracynicole111: what do you mean?
me: you don't know where la crescenta is
tracynicole111: I don't just go out much
tracynicole111: I only go to the africa and buy goods
tracynicole111: that's all
me: I see... but most people know where they live
tracynicole111: yes
me: you don't have a flippin clue
tracynicole111: I am just feed up of here
me: you're pretty bad at this....
me: but then so is everyone from Africa that claims to be American
me: never met anyone that could actually fool me
tracynicole111: what do you mean
tracynicole111: ?
me: you're not from LA
me: you're not stuck in a hotel
me: you're not the person in the pictures
me: you're just hoping to convince me to send you money
tracynicole111 has stopped viewing your webcam.

BUZZ!!!
tracynicole111: helllo
me: hi
tracynicole111: I agree
me: with what?
tracynicole111: i am not the one on the pics
tracynicole111: Well you like to no much about me
me: what a surprise
tracynicole111: well i am 13 years going to 14
me: I see
tracynicole111: male
me: so anyone ever send you money?
tracynicole111: so can i still view ur cam
tracynicole111: No
tracynicole111: One of my class mate
tracynicole111: Just introduse this to me
tracynicole111: Lat nigth
me: there are lots of African conartists
tracynicole111: last night i mean
tracynicole111: so u are the first person
me: don't try it again
tracynicole111: I am chatting with
tracynicole111: why do you say so?
tracynicole111: scott?
me: it's stealing
tracynicole111: Yes i no
tracynicole111: But oour economy here is very bad
tracynicole111: I am doing this to you
tracynicole111: Cos i am having my examition by next week
tracynicole111: And i will have to pay for it
tracynicole111: so i just need money
tracynicole111: that why i came here to do such things
me: well fraud is not a way to get it
tracynicole111: I never belive this is a fraud
tracynicole111: Cos this is an exprience work
tracynicole111: Not a fraud okay
tracynicole111: ??
me: it's fraud
me: it's getting money on false pretenses
tracynicole111: we children we do this
tracynicole111: to go to school
tracynicole111: Cos we don't have any body to take care of me
me: well no matter what yuor circumstances lying to get money isn't right
me: it just shows how much is wrong with Africa
me: I talk with poor people in Viet Nam and Laos and they never lie to get money
tracynicole111: oHH
tracynicole111: if so sir
tracynicole111: I am very sorry
tracynicole111: His just that i don't want to loose my exam
me: plus you're lying about this being the 1st time you tried it
tracynicole111: Just confessed
me: but you're still a liar and a cheat no matter what your circumstances
tracynicole111: Okay
tracynicole111: My apolopgy
me: I think the only reason you are apologizing is you got caught so you're trying another tactic
me: but hey you get bonus points for initiative.. most of you just scream profanity at me when they figure out I'm on to them
tracynicole111: Ohh
tracynicole111: do you have a child like me
tracynicole111: ?
me: no
me: if I found out my kid was trying to cheat people on the internet I'd beat the crap out of them
tracynicole111: well sir
tracynicole111: can u help me
me: no
tracynicole111: WITH 100$
me: why would I want to help someone that lied to me?
me: how do I know you're telling the truth now
me: I think you're still lying
tracynicole111: I am not ying sir
me: I doubt you're 13
me: well when you start a conversation with a lie how could you tell the truth?
tracynicole111: I have break it up
me: huh?
tracynicole111: and i hav tell you all my mind
me: well I've told you mine...
me: you can't even see the little scam you pulled originally is dishonest
me: It's really sad... the entire continent has lost any sense of moral value
me: and any kind of work ethic
me: a nation of liars and cheats
tracynicole111: it okay
tracynicole111: I can see u can't help me
me: and I can see that you don't see anything wrong with what you are trying to do
me: which is even sadder

Declining Quality

It's been a slow couple of weeks in the scam world. There have been plenty of scam artists around but either the word has gotten out that that there are people like me jerking their chain or they are just much poorer quality scam artists. Most of them won't even enter into a conversation any more. They make their pitch and if you don't bite right away they stop chatting. It could be a good thing, maybe they are meeting with less success. One can hope, but my fear is there is no shortage of gullible people in this world to rip off.

Today I finally had someone chat with me for a few minutes. Same old MO beautiful picture, from the states with a store in Africa. This one said she was from San Francisco which was interesting since that's where I live but this one didn't even try to convince me. As soon as I pointed out that she couldn't actually tell me where she was from she gave up. You just don't see good scam artists any more... Where are the ones that take pride in their work?

brandy2pq: hi
me: hi
brandy2pq: hey
brandy2pq: how are u doing today
me: I'm okay... you?
brandy2pq: Am fine
brandy2pq: Am Brandy by name and urs?
me: Scott
brandy2pq: nice to meet ya scott
me: nice to meet you too
me: where are you from?
brandy2pq: CA
me: where in CA?
brandy2pq: San fran
me: ohh ok I'm from San mateo
brandy2pq: okay
brandy2pq: Are u married?
me: no I'm a widower
brandy2pq: Oh am sorry
me: well was a long time ago now
brandy2pq: okay
me: what do you do?
brandy2pq: i own a store in africa
me: I see why?
brandy2pq: nuthing
me: ok
brandy2pq: are u on cam
me: yes
brandy2pq: can i see u
brandy2pq: wow u look cute
brandy2pq: u live alone
me: what part of SF are you from?
me: yes I live alone
me: thanks
brandy2pq: u?
me: what's that?
brandy2pq: part of San mateo
me: very noeth end close to Burlingame Ave..
me: so where in SF are you from?
brandy2pq: near San Francisco
me: so like what town?
brandy2pq: Bay Area

me: any reason you do'nt want to tell me what place?
brandy2pq: San Fran Bay Area, CA

me: ummm you have never actually been to the Bay Area have you?
brandy2pq: yes
brandy2pq: that is where i live
me: so how come you don't know what town you're from?
brandy2pq: Am from Bay Area
me: bay area isn't a town.. it's the whole region dear
brandy2pq: bye
brandy2pq has stopped viewing your webcam.

me: look if you're going to lie to try and scam people it's a good idea to do at least a little homework
brandy2pq: can u help me
me: why would I help someone that's been lying to me?

The Texan Doctor goes Native.

I’ve been noticing a change lately. The scam artists are appealing more to altruism and to people’s willingness to do a good deed than they are to greed and lust. I find myself being far more impatient the more I chat with them. This one tells me they were born in 1982 and were about to turn 24, well unless I lost a year somewhere they would be turning 23. They are a doctor from Baylor, imagine to have your medical degree at 22 a regular Doogie Howser! Of course the fact that the had not the vaguest idea where Baylor was, though to be fair I wasn’t sure either, looking later I did realize the med school is in Houston and the main campus is in Waco, but then if you had actually been there you would have corrected me. I thought this one had given up before the scam. But in fact as I was writing this, they came back. It gave me an opportunity to pummel away again, but they did make their pitch, for a new cell phone. It was almost as though they got told by their supervisor to go back and make the pitch.

Imagine the dedication to finish medical school at 22 but instead of practicing medicine you go work in your dad’s store in Nigeria. Loyalty to dad is something you just don’t see anymore.






nelly_tiffany: hi
nelly_tiffany: asl
me: hi
nelly_tiffany: pls
me: ohh I'm old
me: m
me: california
me: you?
nelly_tiffany: can i view ur cam
BUZZ!!!
nelly_tiffany: ooh
nelly_tiffany: u are very cool sirme: thanks where are you from?
nelly_tiffany: from texas
nelly_tiffany: but now in my dad store in nigeria
nelly_tiffany: ok
me: oic
nelly_tiffany: just helping him
me: ok
nelly_tiffany: so as my dad
me: what's that?
nelly_tiffany: i have to comse down here to nigeria help him
me: ok
nelly_tiffany: cause i respect him alot
nelly_tiffany: and he old like you
me: ok
nelly_tiffany: sir i will like to know more about you
nelly_tiffany: si
nelly_tiffany: sir
nelly_tiffany: cause as i see you u must be nice
nelly_tiffany: most of my friends are still in texas
me: what do you want to know?
me: where in Texas?
nelly_tiffany: or may be i will be back in the state next month
me: ok
nelly_tiffany: everything about you sir
nelly_tiffany: houston texas
me: ohh ok
me: what part of houston?
nelly_tiffany: my mum is from navejo nation arizona
me: ic
nelly_tiffany: but my dad is from nigeria
nelly_tiffany: and they gave birth to me in texas
me: ok
nelly_tiffany: in the year 1982
me: oh ok
nelly_tiffany: so now just i will be 24 these year
nelly_tiffany: ok
nelly_tiffany: and i will be celebrating my birthday next two weeks
me: ohh ok
me: happy birthday
nelly_tiffany: thax sir
nelly_tiffany: many of my friends are coming to celebrate with me
me: ok
nelly_tiffany: so what do u do in the state
nelly_tiffany: sir
me: partner in a software company
nelly_tiffany: ok nice
nelly_tiffany: i like that
me: ok
nelly_tiffany: but i'm a practise medical doctor
nelly_tiffany: here in nigeria
me: I see
me: little young to be an md aren't you?
nelly_tiffany: my education is very fast
nelly_tiffany: and here in nigeria i wanna build some hospital before coming back to the state
me: where did you go to med school?
nelly_tiffany: Baylor College of Medicine
BUZZ!!!
me: ohh ok
nelly_tiffany: so sir before coming back to the state i will like to help people here
me: I see
me: where is texas is baylor.. I've forgotten
nelly_tiffany: there is a lot of t.b here and i need to help before going back to the state
nelly_tiffany: and my dad said i must do these for his country
me: I see
me: where is Baylor?
nelly_tiffany: Baruch Brody, Ph.D. ... University of Texas Southwestern
me: huh?
nelly_tiffany: yes
me: what's that..
me: you said you went to baylor.. I am just trying to remember where in Texas Baylor is
nelly_tiffany: ok
nelly_tiffany: that is nice of you
nelly_tiffany: ok
me: so......
nelly_tiffany: you must be such a caring somebody
nelly_tiffany: ok
nelly_tiffany: is that not so
me: I see.. so you're another one making up stories about being from Texas
nelly_tiffany: how do u mean sir
BUZZ!!!
me: you can't tell me where Baylor is
nelly_tiffany: that is where i was telling you sir
me: well anyone that had actually gone would just immediately answer.. oh it's in austin
nelly_tiffany: Baylor Plaza
Houston, TX
nelly_tiffany: ok
me: baylor is in Waco
me: a good 500 miles fro Houston
nelly_tiffany: yes just because i dont understand what you mean
nelly_tiffany: because i think u are talking about where the school is located @
nelly_tiffany: ok
me: so what interstate is waco on?
nelly_tiffany: so do u have kids
nelly_tiffany: ?
BUZZ!!!
me: can't answer that huh?
me: still there?
nelly_tiffany: i'm confuse here
nelly_tiffany: about the cam
BUZZ!!!
me: I'm asking you what is the interstate highway that runs through waco and almost through the baylor campus
nelly_tiffany: yes
nelly_tiffany: just dont understand ur question
me: just I'd think that someone that lived there could actually talk about it
me: it's not hard
nelly_tiffany: right
me: anyone from tecas would know the major highways
nelly_tiffany: yes u are right ok
nelly_tiffany: yes
nelly_tiffany: yes
nelly_tiffany: u are right
nelly_tiffany: and where do u live
nelly_tiffany: ?
me: california
me: but I know texas quite well
nelly_tiffany: ok
nelly_tiffany: that is nixe
nelly_tiffany: ok
me: unlike you... I've actually been to Waco
nelly_tiffany: ok
nelly_tiffany: nice
nelly_tiffany: have u ever been in new york
me: yes
nelly_tiffany: or navejo nation
nelly_tiffany: arizona
me: well that's not a single spot
nelly_tiffany: ok
nelly_tiffany: dad
me: and it's spelled navajo
nelly_tiffany: yes
me: so doc... what's a pulmonary embolism?
nelly_tiffany: i made mistake in my typing
nelly_tiffany: as u did first
BUZZ!!!
nelly_tiffany: ok
nelly_tiffany: so i told you that i wil be doing my birthday next week
nelly_tiffany: so are u coming
nelly_tiffany: ?
me: no
nelly_tiffany: ohh
me: what's a pulmonary embolism?
nelly_tiffany: but i will like to inform you
nelly_tiffany: ok
nelly_tiffany: right there
me: what?
nelly_tiffany: are u a lawyer
me: no
nelly_tiffany: i think you can come there and meet my dad
me: what's a pulmonary embolism?
nelly_tiffany: are u a lawyer
me: no
me: what's a pulmonary embolism?
nelly_tiffany: cause of all these question
me: come on doc... 1st year med student question
me: I just like to make sure people are who they say they are
nelly_tiffany: ok
me: I'm not from Texas and I'm not a doctor and I know the asnwers
nelly_tiffany: that is nice of you
nelly_tiffany: ok
nelly_tiffany: ok
me: so I know you're not from Texas
nelly_tiffany: that is nice
me: and I know you're not a doctor
nelly_tiffany: i know the answer just confuse about the cam
nelly_tiffany: o
nelly_tiffany: ok
nelly_tiffany: is that ur son
nelly_tiffany: huh/
nelly_tiffany: ?
me: oh please
me: if you are that flustered god help your patients
me: it's never a good idea to make up stories if you are going to get called on them
nelly_tiffany: ohh
nelly_tiffany: what
nelly_tiffany: are u trying to insult me sir
nelly_tiffany: or what
nelly_tiffany: sir
me: I'm telling the truth
nelly_tiffany: so how old are u sir
nelly_tiffany: yes
me: so what's a pulmonary embolism
me: come on
nelly_tiffany: you are telling the truth
me: answer it doc
me: you're no more a doctor than I'm the president of Nigeria
nelly_tiffany: ok
nelly_tiffany: i will tell you
nelly_tiffany: if that is what u wanna know
me: can we stall any longer
nelly_tiffany: cause i dont like people asking me some question on net
me: having trouble finding it in google?????
nelly_tiffany: A potentially fatal blood clot that travels to the lungs, blocking major arteries. The risk for pulmonary embolism increases after surgery or prolonged bed rest.
me: nice cut and paste...
nelly_tiffany: what did u mean
me: what medication given to women is the leading cause?
me: you have 10 seconds to answer
me: 10
me: 9
nelly_tiffany: by telling all these sir
me: 8
me: 7
me: hurry
me: 6
me: 5
me: 4
me: 3
me: 2
me: 1
me: ohh I'm sorry times up
me: but thanks for playing
nelly_tiffany has stopped viewing your webcam.

me: giving up???
me: don't try to fake things you know nothing about
me: you have any idea how many Africans make up shit?????????
me: it's old
me: tiresome and all to easy to catch



A few minutes later



nelly_tiffany: ok sir
me: hi
nelly_tiffany: so how are u sir
me: I'm okay...
nelly_tiffany: just busy with my dad
me: I see
nelly_tiffany: cause i'm preparing for my birthday
me: ok
me: how old again?
nelly_tiffany: i will be 24 these year
me: but you told me earlier you were born in 1982
nelly_tiffany: yes
me: did I lose a year some place???
nelly_tiffany: no
me: how is you you got that wrong then
nelly_tiffany: i will be 23 sorry
me: I mean I know how old I am and when I was born
me: 23 and already a med school graduate...
me: pretty amazing if you ask me
me: they call you doogie howser???
nelly_tiffany: what
nelly_tiffany: sir just only that i don't lie someone to be questioning me
nelly_tiffany: ok
me: well if you grew up in texas and you were thay much of a prodigy you'd certainly know who doogie howser was
nelly_tiffany: yes
me: I'm having a converation with you
nelly_tiffany: jus dont like much question
nelly_tiffany: yes
nelly_tiffany: ok
me: talking about things you should know if you are what you say you are
nelly_tiffany: sir what will you send to me for my birthday
nelly_tiffany: huh?
nelly_tiffany: i need a cell phone
me: a map of texas
nelly_tiffany: 6260 nokia
nelly_tiffany: new one
nelly_tiffany: ok
me: you must be kidding
me: when did you leave texas?
nelly_tiffany: why
nelly_tiffany: can't iasked something from you as my dad
nelly_tiffany: ?
nelly_tiffany: last two month
me: well you'd know that we don't buy cell phones here
me: if you were really from texas you'd know that the cell phone companies sell phones that are locked and come with a contract
nelly_tiffany: yes
nelly_tiffany: just a single cell phone 4 my birthdaynelly_tiffany: ok
me: how am I going to get one?
nelly_tiffany: i will appreciate if u can do that for me
nelly_tiffany: ok can you send me the one u are using
nelly_tiffany: just to be a suprise
nelly_tiffany: u know 4 my dadme: do I really look that stupid?
nelly_tiffany: what
me: I don't believe you're from Texas
nelly_tiffany: can't u send me just one cell phone
nelly_tiffany: u are not stupid sir
me: I don't believe you're a doctor
nelly_tiffany: no jus asking
me: I think you'
nelly_tiffany: why
nelly_tiffany: are u saying these
nelly_tiffany: is because i asked 4 a surprise gift from u
me: becasue you can't even answer basic questions
me: you don't even know when you were born
nelly_tiffany: that is the why you are blasting me sir
me: toy don't know how old you are
nelly_tiffany: u are like myu dad
me: becasue you've been lying to me since the start
nelly_tiffany: that is why i will have all these respect for you
nelly_tiffany: sir
me: you can't even carry on a basic conversation about where you grew up
me: you can't even make up a vaguely plausible story
nelly_tiffany: what
nelly_tiffany: bye then
nelly_tiffany: is like u are such a person that i dont like ur behaviour
nelly_tiffany: sir
nelly_tiffany: bye
me: of course not
me: I expose what a terrible liar you are
me: you'd be better off just saying I'm African never been to the us know nothing about it but i'd like a cell phone